I do not know how well the Stratford kids programming sells and how that relates to their current strategy for executing said programming. There’s room somewhere in my brain for the possibility that this approach is working at both making and saving money and is therefore helping to fund better, more ambitious art elsewhere at the festival. If true, that reflects pretty poorly on audiences in my opinion, but I will cynically acknowledge that there may very well be purely commercial reasons why the following statement may not be true. That said, creatively at least, something has got to change with Stratford kids programming.

With the possible exception of Kat Sandler’s Anne of Green Gables– a thoughtful and effortful production that half worked for me and half didn’t work for reasons I think are mostly unrelated to my relevant complaints today- the kids show has been, for quite some time now, a blight on the Stratford season. The consistency is extraordinary, really, which is what leads me to believe that the problem is not the material (different, usually pretty strong, source material is chosen every year) nor the artists (again, often different people every season) but the philosophical view of youth programming at the festival. There’s a uniting mediocrity that feels almost purposeful and it’s not only a bummer for adults attending the shows but genuinely risks alienating kids from theatre. When asked “what was your first encounter with theatre?” (our go-to intro question), half the participants in our Nominee Interview Series seem to tell a story about falling in love with the Stratford Festival as a kid. If I ever hear anyone reflect wistfully on this year’s production of The Hobbit, I’ll have to get my ears checked.

Anecdotally, I see kids yawning, I notice kids shuffling in their seats, and among the very few audible reactions from young people seated around me at The Hobbit was the droll observation of a kid of maybe 10 remarking “that was easy” after a pivotal victory for Bilbo that ought to have been awe-inspiring, or at least exciting. The troll puppets are pretty cool and the dragon cool-ish (something as simple as more smoke and slightly more conscientious body placement would eliminate that “ish”) but what might have been a third small victory with the projected spiders was undermined when, upon receiving a fatal blow, the actor voicing the monster literally just said “ouch”. Truly, The Hobbit is maybe the worst play I’ve ever seen.

What’s so baffling about it is that this absolutely could have been cool. The Hobbit is a clear, accessible, familiar narrative with lots of potential for practical theatre magic and genuinely tender moments. I went into the show extolling the brilliance of Tim Campbell, excited to see what new layers he’d bring to Gandalf, only to see him adopt the show’s overall style of awkward, exaggerated performance to the point where I could barely recognize one of the festival’s most nuanced actors in the hulking cartoon with a light-up kids toy of a staff. Aaron Krohn fares best mostly because he appears to push back on the silly style and instead play Thorin Oakenshield as a character worth playing who might even have a glimmer of inner life.

Every single beat of this production is slow, the fight choreography especially, and no one seems to be exerting much energy at all. It almost feels under-rehearsed; it’s certainly under-considered. I don’t want anything phoned in ever- especially not at a theatre of this calibre and reputation, especially not at this ticket price- but if anything deserves more care and attention and effort, not less, it’s the kids shows. They’re smart audiences, they’re discerning, they’re paying attention and they don’t deserve to be talked down to or taken for granted. The Hobbit broke my heart and all I can hope is that the kids come back because they deserve so much better.