Rather than spend time writing a review of the new Converge album, I’ll just post my train of thought while listening to it.
– I’ve always thought this band was overrated, but there’s a lot of hype around this. Let’s see how it goes.
– Oh is that really how it starts?
– Why is the production so thin?
– This isn’t very mathy.
– Ugh, they’re saying the song title in the lyrics. I hate that.
– Oh god they’re repeating it over and over again.
– The instrumentation is pretty good, but kinda basic.
– These lyrics were written by that guy in high school who was like “Hey, do you wanna hear my poetry? I warn you, it’s pretty dark…”
– A feedback-laden screamy outro… normally I’d be all over that, but my feelings are already spiralling into negativity. This is probably the point where I stop being objective.
– Oh boy, a proggy strum fest with more cringey lyrics.
– Holy shit did they just quote RuPaul?
– There they go again, saying the song title over and over. This tells me you have nothing interesting to write about.
– Cringe, more cringe.
– Jesus, I’m not sure I can finish this.
– Yay, blast beats!
– Ugh, chugging.
– This guitar tone sucks.
– *looks anxiously at time remaining*
– *skips ahead a bit on the last two tracks*
In summary, I can definitely see why this band is a hit with teenagers.