Dear Diary,

Today I watched the third episode of The Legend of Korra (it’s called “The Revelation”).

Here were all my thoughts and feelings*:

*WARNING: this is essentially going to be a live-blogging thing. Except … not live (dead blogging? Rehearsed blogging? …Undead blogging?) I’ll stop now. But see?! This is what it’s going to be like. Pretty much the whole time. Also, IT’S GONNA GET CAPSY UP IN HERE. Okay. Warning over.

START:

-Ooh, ooh, intro! Yes, I still get gleeful (in a strictly non-musical way) about the intro. #noshame

-You know, call me crazy (I’m sure you already do), but I like the old-time-y newsreel recaps.

-Amon! He’s gonna be our Big Bad and I’m hoping it’s going to be complicated and awesome.

-“THE MORNING IS EVIL”!!! Oh, Korra, you share my soul. Also, yay writers, for making accurate-to-life cruddy consequences for hasty, impromptu decisions.

-Oh, and the earth-bending brother is clearly the sensible/best one.

-Oh, the firebendingone(Mako? I’ll get there) and Korra are fighting. They’re totally in love. Although I thought that about the last FireNation/WaterTribe pair too and the writers… didn’t (don’t worry, I’m not actually a hardcore shipper/crazy person).

-But I think that they’ve actually said in interviews that they’re doing a cheesy teen romance in this one. So I’m going with my gut (also the shipwars* may have made them feel obligated to make a forreal fire/water pair. Idk)

-*If you don’t know about the shipwars, you are happier not knowing. No worries. DON’T GET EMBROILED!!! IT’S DANGEROUS OUT THERE!!! PEOPLE HAVE DIED!!! That’s not true (probably). But many feelings have been hurt and interwebs reputations ruined. Just don’t do it.

-Who the heck are you?

-Oh, poor Mako. Taxes always suck.

-I’m with you, earthbending brother. Food is good. And necessary. And you are a growing boy. Possibly with a red ferret on your shoulders?

-Loans are horrible.

-YOU’VE NEVER NEEDED MONEY?! YOU’VE ALWAYS HAD PEOPLE TAKING CARE OF YOU?! (is it my imagination, or is this a commentary on my generation?)

-Aw, puppydog/sobstory face.

-…And moody firebendingbrother. ….le sigh. He’s not going to be my fav, is he?

-Oh, you’re the cutest, Earthbendingbrother—BOLIN!!! YOUR NAME IS BOLIN!!! Thankgod. Now I can just type five letters instead of a bajillion (math is hard)

-“I’ll figure something out. I always do.” Mako, I know you’re trying to be tough, and grown up, and street-smart, but… you sound like a brat. #accuratecharacterwritingforateengageboy

-BOLIN DETERMINED FACE!!!

-Oh, it’s a fire ferret! Okay. Gotcha.

-Also, your fake mustache is splendid and majestic.  And your lines/voice acting are wonderful.

-WHY WOULD YOU ACTUALLY TALK TO ANYONE NAMED SHADY SHIN?!?! (this is a real thing that is happening. there is a gross-looking swaggering man named Shady Shin)

-There is someone named Lightningbolt Zolt. LIGHTNINGBOLT ZOLT!!!

-Pick up your little mat and fire ferret and walk away!

-Oh, don’t be an enforcer. You’re too much of a marshmellow.

-ANYTIME ANYONE FEELS COMPELLED TO VOLUNTARILY USE THE PHRASE “NOTHIN’ CROOKED” THE THING THEY WANT YOU TO DO IS ILEGALL!!!!!

-Also brother relationships/powerdynamics. Happens every time.

-Bolin, even when you’re being dumb, your face is really precious.

-Wait, Mako’s dayjob is as a human blowtorch?

-Bo! He calls him BO!!! That’s what I call my sister!!!! Love Bo.

-Also Bo has favorite dumplings. Of course he does.

-“I bet the little love bird is making a house call” WHAT?! WHAT?!!! WHAT LOVE BIRD?! OH GOD (/Ha! I was RIGHT! Called it!)

-Not like it was hard to guess but still.

-“OOH. HE’S CUTE”

-Aw, Korra’s being plagued by the fake/adopted little sisters she probably never wanted.  Except I like whatsherface. The calm one who likes books (duh).

-“Is that the handsome firebending boy who drives you crazy?”

-“Or does he drive you crazy like you LIKE him?!”

this is a real question that has been used in real life. A+ for annoying kid sister accuracy, writers.

-Oh, you’re so moody and troubled, Mako.

-“Hey CoolGuy, let me help you.” Show self awareness. Love it.

-D’oh. They’re going to be grossly, sickeningly cute together.

-Scoochi is a totally an icorrigable street rat/extortionist. Me gusta mucho. Also, his name is Scoochi (I might be spelling that wrong) and he looks 7 years old. 8 max. And he’s the best exposition fairy in all of Republic City (still a really really really dumb name for ANYTHING, guys)

-“ALL THE TRIADS ARE RUSTLING UP FOR SOMETHING REAL BIG”!!!

-I haven’t been this excited about the triads since the last Rush Hour movie that had them (pretty sure it was a Rush Hour movie…)

-TURF WARS!!!!

-Wild Red Ferret/Pabu Chase!

-Mako sneaks. Korra saunters. And then she kicks down the door. #myhero.

-Uh-oh THEY HAVE BOLIN!!! (I’m calling it now. These are the Equalists, trying to take away Bolin’s bending powers/lure Korra?)

-The Equalists have really cool motorcycles, and are uber ninjas, apparently.

-Also, Korra, didn’t you learn anything from the last time you wrecked the city?

-NAGA AND PABU TO THE RESCUE!!! Hooray for animal friends!

-The Equalists are chi-blocking bastards! But they’re also on the Batman end of this argument—no inborn powers (although not Pro-Justice either). Must be tough in the streets. And I was right about Bo, not so much on the Korra-luring yet. But mark my words!

-I might make a drinking game out of this.

-Damn right you’re going to save Bo.

-TROUBLED/FORLORN/STOIC(?)* LOOK OFF INTO THE DISTANCE!!!

*clearly, we need some new words to more succinctly describe the facial expressions of toocoolforschool firebending teenage boys. Zuzu often caused me this trouble also.

-Mako, get over yourself.

-Korra, you’re a great fighter. Not so much on the detective-ing.

-Awkward silence.

-Awkward life questions.

-TRAGIC LIFE STORY OF HARDSHIP AND STRUGGLE COMIN’ UP!!! MY MOODY TEENAGER SENSES ARE TINGLING!!!

-“What! Are you some kind of criminal?!”

Uh, girlygirl, he just said that he worked with the Triads. Yeah. Your boy’s a crim.

-“You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

…Sure.

-“I just ran numbers for them and stuff”

So…. money laundering? Mob accounting?

-“WE WERE ORPHANS, OUT ON THE STREET! I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO TO SURVIVE AND PROTECT MY LITTLE BROTHER!”

…Defensive much?

-Empathizing and tragic storytelling.

-OH MY GOD HE HAS BATMAN’S ORIGIN STORY!!!!

-D’oh, they’re sleeping/drowsing on each other! Called the sickeningly cute thing.

-Although, to be fair, good startle responses from both of you.

-Ooh, Equalists. Time for fighting?

-Threatening strolling.

-“YOU CANNOT SILENCE ME, AVATAR!”

Maybe not, but she CAN destroy your megaphone.

-Oh, and her bending’s back. And his flyers are everywhere.

-“NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE REVELATION IS. BUT MY GUESS IS, IF YOUR FRIEND’S A BENDER, THEN HE’S GETTING WHAT’S COMING TO HIM.”

-Whoo boy. Here we go. Cult-like activity: check. Pissed off superheroes (essentially): check.

Time to initiate fight sequence.

-“Hey, what’s going on over there?” “The Avatar’s oppressing us!” ha!

-Mako + Korra = 1 smart cookie and puzzlemap. Separate? … not so much.

-Korra just grabbed his arm.

M: “What are you doing?”

K: “We’ll attract less attention this way.”

…sure you will.

-Korra and Mako, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N—

…look, sometimes I regress into a 5 year old. Excuse me. Sometimes I’m this many *holds up open hand*

-Okay, so this is part rock concert, part televangelist special, and part revolution.

-WAIT, YOU PRACTICALLY HAVE THE SAME ORIGIN STORY AS MAKO!

-WAIT! HE TOOK YOUR FACE?!

-HE. TOOK. YOUR. FACE?!!!

-Uh, btw, Zuko walked around bare-faced with some pretty impressive burns like a big boy (except for the blue spirit. Man, I loved their spirit alter-egos). So guessing the mask is not just a vanity/grossness issues.

-Here’s hoping for secret identity twists!

-K and M, your hats are horrible. Except, Mako, yours sort of looks like a captain’s hat. I guess that’s okay. So Korra, it’s just you. Your hat is terrible.

-Aw, poor Korra. Avatar hate.

-What is the revelation?

-THEY HAVE GRANTED YOU THE POWER TO PERMENANTLY TAKE AWAY BENDING?!

Okay, not going to lie, assumed a little bit. Otherwise how could you really be the Big Bad?

-(although btw, minor flaw, Amon, but the last person who could do that was a bender. Avatar Aang, to be exact.) #readytobetmoneyonsecretidentitytwist

-DEMONSTRATION TIME!!

-Oh no, BO!

-Oh, jk. False alarm.  Lightningbolt Zolt. Ha, you’re so—

-NO!! BO IS UP THERE!!! (#called it)

-Also, I’m with Korra, better make a plan pretty fast.

-Uh oh, gladiation/brainscrambling.

-“YOUR FIREBENDING IS GONE. FOREVER.”

-Korra looks broken.

-Plan! Also, goodluck handshake! Yo, they are so falling in love it’s not even funny. And they’re going to be snarky about it. So I’m on board.

-“What are you doing back here?”

“…Uh…. Looking for the bathroom?”

Good cover.

-RACE AGAINST TIME MUSIC!!!

-“Uh. Mister Amon, sir. I think there’s been a big misunderstanding.”

Bo, you’re the cutest ever ever.

-Bromance (actual brothers in this case) = awesome.

-Bo, don’t give in to your marshmellowy center! Be fierce! Protect yourself!

-Both bros down for the count!

-It’s cool, KORRA TO THE RESUCE.

-Does anyone else think that Bo’s scream sounds kind of like a rooster? …No? Just me?

-“Let her go. She’s the perfect messenger to tell the city of my power.”

Okay, so I didn’t call it. Damn.

-Also, Bo is so the Sokka of this season. No wonder I love him.

-Protective paternal figure! Oh Master Tenzen, you’re great.

-Aw, broken Korra.

-Hey Tenz-man, thanks for bringing that up. I’m glad one of the characters remembered (and actually, you’re the perfect one to do that).

-“NO BENDER IS SAFE!!!”

-OMINOUS MUSIC!

END.

…

wait. What?

I have to wait a whole week for the next one?!!!? #spoiledbyinterwebs.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Okay. I’ll be back next week with another Korra diary entry.

Oh, come on. You know you’re excited.