01 October 2010
*Dennis and Mac are at the hardware store, buying supplies for their new boat*
Dennis: We’ve gotta pop by the department store, pick up a mattress. I wanna get a nice one too.
Mac: The what? The mattress? What do we need a mattress for?
Dennis: What do you mean, what do we need a mattress for? Why in the hell do you think we just spent all that money on a boat? The whole purpose of buying a boat in the first place was to get the ladies nice and tipsy topside so we can take them to a nice comfortable place below deck and they can’t refuse, because of the implication.
Mac: Uh, okay, you had me going there for the first part but the second half kinda threw me.
Dennis: Well, dude, think about it. She’s out in the middle of nowhere with some dude she barely knows. She looks around her, what does she see? Nothing but open ocean, “ah there’s nowhere for me to run, what am I gonna do, say no?”
Mac: Okay, ha ha, that seems really dark though.
Dennis: No, no, it’s not dark. You’re misunderstanding me bro.
Mac: I think I am.
Dennis:Yeah, you are. Cause if the girl said no, then the answer obviously is no. The thing is that she’s not gonna say no, she’d never say no, because of the implication.
Mac: Now, you said that word “implication” a couple of times. What implication?
Dennis: The implication that things might go wrong for her if she refuses to sleep with me. Now, not that things are gonna go wrong for her, but she’s thinking that they will.
Mac: But it sounds like she doesn’t wanna have sex with you…
Dennis: Why aren’t you understanding this? She doesn’t know whether she wants to have sex with me, that’s not the issue.
Mac: Are you gonna hurt women?
Dennis: I’m not gonna hurt these women, why would I ever hurt these women? I feel like you’re not getting this at all.
Mac: I’m not getting it.
*old woman glares at Dennis*
Dennis: Don’t you look at me like that, you certainly wouldn’t be in any danger.
Mac: So they are in danger…
Dennis: No one’s in any danger! How could I make that any more clear to you? Okay? It’s an implication of danger…you know, let’s drop it.
Mac: Drop it.
Dennis: Buy your shit and let’s get out of here.