The Emmys are the biggest night of the year in TV. Here with all the scoop as the academy awards all the wrong people based on a pretentious system of hierarchy, is managing editor Kelly as she live blogs her way through the evening.


The Red Carpet
– Betty White is the cutest thing in the world.
– Steven Buscemi gives a very awkward interview with the terrible opening question of “how come you haven’t won an Emmy yet?”
– How fantastic is Vanessa Marano? I’ve always loved her (since her Gilmore Girls days) but she gets more gracious and quirky and wonderfully funny with age (the tender age of 18).
– Wilmer Valderrama is still famous? Really? Why is he at the Emmys?- Sofia Vergara looks stunning, as usual- The interviewer wants to “tear [Rob Lowe’s] face off and use it as [his] face”? Awkward. Man, I love Lowe though.

– Kate Winslet at the Emmys! The red carpet has missed her so much.

– Oh the awkwardness of the interviewer telling Timothy Olyphant that “you’ve been in nominated series before- like The Office“! His reply? “Well, I was there for an afternoon”. Um, Deadwood? Can Fox please hire people who know something about television?!

– Greg Kinnear! The Kennedys shouldn’t be up for anything, but he’s just so darn wonderful.

– What is Laura Linney wearing? She’s fabulous, of course, and though I think she should maybe win Best Actress in a Drama, she’s nominated for Best Actress in a Comedy which I think she may still win but Amy Poehler should.

– LL Cool J watches “‘Swamp Wars’. No, not ‘Swamp Wars’, Swamp People. It’s about people who go gator huntin’.” Hm.

– Oh, Melissa McCarthy, sweetie, I’ve always loved you (except on Mike and Molly– what a dumb show) but dressing for your body is a skill you do not have. Please see Gabourey Sidibe at the Oscars for a better reference point.

– Laurence Fishburne is married to Gina Torres? I had no idea! That’s kinda awesome. She looks fabulous!


The Show
– Christina Hendricks looks awesome in glasses. That’a girl. Way to make them sexy in a non-librarian way!

– Leonard Nimoy is the “President of Television”. Okay.

– A fabulous opening number that made light of the famous “vast wasteland” TV dig featuring superstars Jeremy Piven, Kevin Nealon, Eric Dane, the cast of Big Bang Theory (Sheldon explains television: yay + a great laughtrack!), Top Chef’s Marcel, Randy Jackson, the Myth Busters, Ron Swanson!, Andy Richter, the Mad Men cast (Don Draper kicks Jane Lynch out when she tells him in the future people can fastforward through commercials!), the Friday Night Lights boys! (Zack Gilford made it to the Emmys!) and, last but not least, Verizon’s “can you hear me now” guy!

– The Emmytones- Zachary Levi, Cobie Smulders, Taraji P Hanson, Kate Flannery, Wilmer Valderrama and Joel McHale. Fan, flippin, Tastic!

– I love a good TV montage! The comedy one was fabulous.

– Julie Bowen wins Betty White’s award? Wow.

– Ty Burrell wins a very well deserved Emmy. Of all the Modern Family men I’m so glad it was him, I’ve loved him since Out of Practice and Back to You. What a lovely speech. Great job Ty!

– It’s always so awkward when the host is nominated then doesn’t win. Sorry, Jane.

– Hang a lantern on the Ricky Gervais thing; great. I love the clever editing. Well done with the self awareness!

– “Poor Ricky Gervais. Someone didn’t get enough hugs from mommy and somehow it’s Hollywood’s fault” Ouch. Too harsh I say. The man’s a comedian- thicken the skin Hollywood.

– Wow Zooey Deschanel and Will Arnett have some seriously awkward banter about comedy writers.

– Another win for Modern Family? I was expecting Comedy Writing to go to Louis CK and hoping (unrealistically) for David Crane and Jeffrey Klarik for the superbly written genius of Episodes. What do you think? Do you think the voters actually watch TV or just Modern Family? Nice job shouting out the entire writing staff though. The snarky-faced wife is so much fun and the partner with the supportive laugh- how sweet.

– “Welcome Back to the Modern Family Awards!” True.

– Charlie Sheen gives his gracious well wishes to the cast and crew of Two and a Half Men. How lovely and not as awkward as you’d think. I’m glad to see him looking so well. Though perhaps it was a little mean to make him present Best Actor in a Comedy.

– Jim Parsons wins again. “I was assured by many people in my life that this wasn’t happening”- who are your friends?

– Who wrote the absolutely terrible and somewhat offensive “banter” between Rob Lowe and Sofia Vergara?

– Amy Poehler starts the Best Actress in a Comedy train to the stage in the showcase of the night’s funniest women and their planned adventures! And while I love Melissa, she won for Bridesmaids, not for Mike and Molly. That’s wrong, but I’m kinda okay with it.

– Aaron Paul in character making a meth drop at The Office. Perfect!

– Cee Lo can’t get the Voice chair to work!

– Mantage Alert #2

– Jane Lynch, gay jokes? Really? I know you meant it satirically but it’s just not helpful.

– Who did Kaley Cuoco’s makeup? She’s so much prettier than that.

The Amazing Race wins again?! I know it was All-Stars, a pretty good season, but come on! Compared to So You Think You Can Dance and Top Chef‘s All-Star offerings this year Amazing Race simply wasn’t the best. You know what might have been the best? Survivor. But hey, nothing to be done about the nominations at this hour.

– Every year I love how the Variety writers find cool ways to say all their names. It’s always a highlight. Another highlight- the always gracious way Jon Stewart deals with his writers winning. And the clever speech from his head writers? Gravy.

– Music montage of SNL brilliance. Always appreciated.

– 9th straight win for The Daily Show. Here’s the thing, yes it’s predictable and ridiculous and kind of a joke at this point for them to win again but it really is a phenomenon of television production night in and night out. And that self-effacing host who’s so proud of his friend Colbert as he “renders his character live each night”, a very deserving win.

– Montage Alert #3. Drama kicks off with Friday Night Lights footage, how wonderful.

– CLEAR EYES FULL HEARTS CAN’T LOSE!!!!!!!!! Way to go Jason Katims! The most deserving award I’ve ever seen given!

– Scorsese then Peter Dinklage win. The latter gives a wonderful acceptance speech and thanks his dogsitter.

– The commercial break teasers need to stop promoting Drew Barrymore and Charlie’s new Angels like they’re epic gets. No one cares.

– Big Pussy returns to TV. Maybe the Jersey bit was a little much but I’ll take a Sopranos alum anyday.

– Best Actress in a Drama. *fingers crossed* Connie Britton, Connie Britton, Connie, Britton… and it’s… Julianna Margulies. Boring. Predictable. Not a travesty but certainly not the right choice. Lovely speech though.

– Best Actor in a Drama. *fingers crossed* Kyle Chandler, Kyle Chandler, Kyle Chandler… and it’s KYLE FRICKIN’ CHANDLER!!!!!!!!!!!! And he gets the award from Lyla Garrity herself. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

– I’m sorry, does Turtle look handsome? My head is spinning.

– The Entourage cast accepts an award on behalf of Maggie Smith. Does she get a say in whose care her Emmy is in? Can’t Kate Winslet hold onto it for her?

– Thank you Jane Lynch and Paula Abdul for not making us hear from the accountants who tabulated the votes. Also, what a wonderfully comical height difference.

– Hey, only funny presenters of the night- you go Amy and Melissa!

– Aww. Barry Pepper’s not there to accept his award for Best Actor in a Miniseries so presenter Amy Poehler offers Melissa McCarthy the chance to use the extra time to thank anyone she forgot when she beat Amy for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy earlier in the evening. What a winner that Amy is (except, you know, not really).

– Did I really just almost start to cry at Tom Bosley’s “In Memoriam ” piece? Farewell too to the too-soon-gone Andy Whitfield and the many other brilliant artists featured in the montage.

– CTV cuts back from commercial late. Boo.

– Ana Torv, you are the most gorgeous woman alive! Seriously beautiful dress/hair/earrings/everything. Also, David Boreanaz as a presenting partner- a lovely accessory.

– Wow, dirty speech from Best Actor in a Miniseries winner Guy Pearce. Huh.

– Kate Winslet Wins! Both predictable and wonderful. I adore her, as does everyone else, I know. Anytime the super award winner wins anything she’s surprised, grateful, adorably excited and gives a wonderful speech: “It doesn’t matter how old you are or what you do in your life, you will never stop needing your mom and I will always need mine”. Only a Tony stands between her and an EGOT (she has a spoken word grammy)- a feat I have absolutely no doubt one of the world’s best actresses will achieve remarkably soon.

– “Hakuna Matata, my friends.”- Jane Lynch

– Outstanding Drama Series. *fingers crossed* Friday Night Lights, Friday Night Lights, Friday Night Lights… and the winner is: Mad Men? Who cares. Oh well, FNL‘ll take 2 massive wins and go home knowing they’re loved.

– Wow, I’ve never seen Elisabeth Moss look so beautiful. What a dress!

– Oh, hi Chris Colfer!

– Shot of Connie and Kyle- friends!

– Poor Gwyneth. Who lets the prompter go down mid-live show? Way to muddle through.

Modern Family wins Best Comedy. Wait a minute, did they just sweep?

– Aw, doesn’t Jesse Tyler Ferguson seem like the sweetest person in the world? Thank you producers for giving credit to the extraordinary kids on the show; they really do make it what it is.

– And, with that, Jane bids farewell (after a job excellently done) with the Emmytones right beside her (those 5 beloved stars might have been my favourite part of the telecast).

Those were some damn good Emmys. Way to go Friday Night Lights! See you next year.