Wow, that just might have been the bitchiest hour of super bitchiness since… well, I don’t know, early Gossip Girl? Let’s get it out of the way right off the bat- Rachel is horrible and needs to never be on the show ever again (sadly she’s almost a guarantee if they do another all-stars. ugh, can you imagine her and Evel Dick in the same house? oh the annoying horror!). That said, I CANNOT STAND when someone yells insults at someone else while instructing them on proper human decency. Yes, I’m talking to you Ragan. I know you value yourself VERY highly. VERY VERY highly, clearly. But your behaviour is not much classier than Rachel’s (I’ll grant you it is a little classier, which is not saying much, but not a lot). You know who’s is? (you might be terrified by this prospect so feel free to hide behind your well-manicured shame when I say it) Enzo. Also, Hayden. Also, EVERYONE ELSE. Calling yourself classy then putting someone else down for their lack of class, that’s called hypocrisy. I know you’re a professor (well, at least you were until your department heads saw this show and hopefully thought better) so you probably know what that word means, but just to clarify: putting down others, no matter how awful they may be, especially as abrasively as you have (on a regular basis, I might add), NOT CLASSY.

Repeat, for all past, current and future Big Brother houseguests, none of whom have ever seemed to know what the word “classy” means when throwing it around: Class is NOT, I repeat NOT about mocking someone’s hair extensions and calling them a bitch. Once more, that is NOT CLASSY. Thanks for listening.

On the flip side of the issue, Britney is a super bitch (was mocking Kathy’s competition skills behind her back really necessary?) but she’s a HILARIOUS super bitch so it’s okay (the answer is yes, yes it was, it was funny!) Britney is a generally smart player who’s diary room sessions are flat out hilarious. One of the only people I’m rooting for at the moment, Britney could make it really far in this game because even though she’s bitchy, for the most part she doesn’t let the other houseguests know about it. With few exceptions, she’s refrained from telling everyone else how to live and she certainly has never participated in my ultimate BB petpeeve: telling someone “what the game of Big Brother is about” when in fact you don’t know what the game of Big Brother is about (quick note: Ragan, have you never seen Chilltown play this thing? Big Brother is NOT about how you treat people- you are dumb).

The only other player I’m rooting for is Matt, have been since literally day one (seriously, read the post from after the first episode). Am LOVING that he has the diamond veto and am hoping that he makes a big decision instead of putting up Kathy (cop out) or Britney (good move, but there are better ones). I want Matt to figure out that Enzo and Hayden have turned on him and get them first. He controls Ragan and Britney’ll vote to keep Lane if she can, so Matt basically decides who goes, even if the vote’s against a solid brigade member like Enzo. And with his track record on HOH and hers on Veto I’m betting on Matt first then Britney for next week’s top spot (assuming she makes it through diamond veto week).

PS: In what world does Bitchy McHypocrite get $20,000 for acting surprised when BB airs fake messages? He literally did nothing as the saboteur. It needed to be a “throwing off votes, ruining people’s chances in competitions, getting in between alliances” job not a “let’s see if they buy this message that carries no consequence at all and I have nothing to do with” job. LAMEST TWIST EVER!!! And that includes season 8’s “mortal enemies feuding over $5” twist.