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12 March 2010

James, All Mass No Class

By // TV

Who would have thought that the most evil villain of all the Survivors would be the hero James?

This week marked my abandonment of the the Heroes tribe once and for all. After weeks and weeks of bad mouthing his fellow contestants and essentially acting like a high school bully, the once noble James finally got what appeared to be a delicious taste of karma. James took a not-so-hard fall during the reward challenged and messed up his knee causing him to sit out of the challenge. When the Heroes once again lost the reward challenge due to their inept puzzle skills (and Rob’s amazing leadership skills), the vote came down to either Tom or James. Once again J.T. proved to be the decided vote. Would he stick with his original alliance of Amanda, James, and Rupert despite James’ threatening injury or would he stay true to his new found alliance with Tom and Colby? Either way Candace was bound to listen to J.T. since she was clearly on the fence but pushing for a James exit. A dramatic tribal council ensued in which James once again placed all the blame on the two people he wanted out the most: Tom and Candace (anyone else having flashbacks of his speech to Stephenie about how she lost the challenge for the team? Someone is clearly trying to save his own ass by placing a target on his enemies’). And in the most disappointing tribal ever, J.T. for some idiotic reason got rid of Tom.

Now that this season is a quarter of the way through (and we don’t have a new episode next week….grrrrrr!!!!), I shall re-rank the remaining contestants…take a look back at the previous Survivor posts to see how the ranks have changed after the first few episodes:

15/ James- Need I say more? As the most evil player this season, James has surpassed the title of villain; that distinction goes to someone who uses their deceitfulness to advance in the game, but James hides behind his muscles and bullies the other contestants. It doesn’t help that he is solely in charge of voting out two of the most beloved heroes ever: Tom and Stephenie. As the biggest fan of Survivor ever, I promise to never watch this show again if James wins. Seriously.

14/ Amanda- As one of the returning favorites I was most looking forward to, Amanda has greatly disappointed fans by hiding behind James. The sister-brother relationship is understandable, but this is a girl who kicked some serious ass with her own strategic game play and all-female alliance (the glory days of Fans vs. Favorites). Unless Amanda starts playing for herself she is sure to stay at the bottom of this list and lose out on the million dollars…again.

13/ Rupert- If my hatred for James and Amanda wasn’t so elevated due to this weeks episode, Rupert would have been last on the list. He is still loved by fans and considered one of the most heroic contestants but I don’t see it. Case in point: throwing Jerry into the pole during tonight’s reward challenge and then pretending it was an accident. Argue me on this point and I will replay the scene until you clearly see what happened: Rupert literally lifting her up and throwing her face-first into the pole. Someone horribly mislabeled the so called Heroes.

12/ Tyson- Still the only villain who has the title simply for being a jerk. Tyson has little air time this season and his only quips come during confessionals. All in all, another boring and undeserving contestant. He will sadly slide through the radar and I predict a final four finish unless a strong alliance takes him out.

11/ Candace- I want to love Candace but she made a dumb move tonight. The girl was smart enough to fight for James’ termination but unfortunately it was J.T.’s call in the end. She had a momentary alliance with Colby during day one and it should have lasted much longer. Candace is next on the chopping block which James’ made apparent tonight when he bashed her performance during tribal. If I were Candace, I would start the last minute scrambling immediately. Don’t expect to see her make the merge.

10/ J.T.- I hate that J.T. beats out most of the villains on my list, but strategically I cannot bash his game. He got rid of the most strategic player last week but managed to stick with his original alliance and regain their trust…which is a rarity in this game. The main reason I have faith in J.T. is that I truly believe he has an alliance already secured on the opposite team. By teaming back up with James and Amanda, J.T. has assured himself a spot in the merge and I wouldn’t be shocked if he joined forces with ex-allies Tyson and Coach.

9/ Russell- This guy was my number one pick for Villains prior the the premiere but he clearly is way out of his league. Russell thinks the immunity idol will save him but what he doesn’t realize is he’s no longer playing with idiots. Case in point: instructing Parvati to ride his coattails. Her response, “I don’t ride coattails baby.” She may need his help at this point, but she will cut him long before he cuts her. Also, Russell will only go far in this game if he aligns with Rob instead of targeting him. Sure, his immunity may work once to eliminate an enemy but I see Russell being one of the next two villains to leave, and deservedly so.

8/ Danielle- Danielle who? I’m still not entirely sure what she’s doing on this season, and what she’s done to deserve a spot. That being said, I can easily see her in the final four with Tyson…in a season of such strong players, the quiet ones often slide in to the end and sometimes even win (oh hey Amber).

7/ Colby- Notice Colby beat out three villains on my list? That’s because Colby is the only semi-heroic hero left in the game. Sadly, unless his team starts winning this cowboy’s days are numbered. I strongly believe the Heroes won’t change their strategy and that Candace will be next followed by Colby (unless they want to just get rid of the major outcast first and kindly give Candace another week). Colby’s position on this list would have been much higher had he not showed his cocky nature during the reward challenge…which he then lost. Come on Colby, in a tribe full of villains we need one actual hero.

6/ Coach- Really?!? Number six? I hated Coach prior to this season, although apparently only ranked him as 5 out of 10 on the Villains tribe. To give him a spot in the top half of my overall list really demonstrates my love for the Villains. Maybe it’s his random showmance for Jerri, or maybe it’s his bro-love for Rob, either way Coach is actually entertaining (in a good way) this season. More importantly, I look forward to the day when he must choose between Rob and Russell…it’s going to be good.

5/ Sandra- This lady is not afraid to hold back. We’ve seen little of her this season but every time she’s on screen I tend to be captivated. It’s the semi-carefree attitude that won Sandra the million last time and I predict she will last longer than any other previous winner (J.T. and Parvati being the only other ones remaining). I might if wager a final four finish for her as well.

4/ Jerri- I like her. Again, this is a new feeling and I’m not sure how to really go about expressing it but Jerri just rubs me the right way for once. She seems lighthearted and fun this go around. Sure Jerri might not have a solid alliance but if the Villains stick together (and I suspect they mostly will) she will go far in this game.

3/ Parvati– This girl is doomed. I still love her but she’s doomed. The best/worst thing to happen to Parvati is Russell. Best because he will be targeted before she is, but worst because she will be targeted next (or first if the immunity idol threatens the others). At this point, Parvati’s only real chance is to hope that the Villain’s keep winning immunity challenges. Sadly, Parvati’s days are numbered.

2/ Courtney- Okay so I’ve already said that Tyson and Danielle will probably make the final four but Courtney is another name to add to the list, and the first I actually want to have make it. Once again, because of the awesome winning streak of her team, Courtney has been given little airtime this season; however, she seems to be having a lot more fun this time around. As a decent strategist, I look forward to seeing Courtney being the game (but don’t expect that to happen until post-merger).

1/ Boston Rob- I have no words. He single-handedly is responsible for most of the Villains’ wins and it’s about time this all-star got what he deserved: one-million. Oddly enough, Rob’s biggest threat this time around is that he is the most likable tribe mate and he would not be the best guy to bring to the finals because of that (there’s also Russell’s pesky idol which may bring about his demise unless he’s smart…stay tuned).

Interestingly, Courtney and Parvati are the only ones who remain at the top of my list. Stayed tuned for Survivor‘s return in two weeks and look forward to my new rankings once five more castaways leave and we’re left with the final 10.

 

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