My TV

27 January 2010

Terrifying Reign of Blond Tyranny

By // TV


After last night’s rose ceremony there remains only one brunette in the Bachelor mansion. Incidentally, she is the only bachelorette left who I can tolerate, I may even go so far as to say I like the girl (Gia) but overall, the pattern of crazy that seems to follow Jake around is pretty astounding. And, I would argue, somehow tied to the copious amounts of bleach that has seeped into these girls’ brains over years of dye jobs.

Sure, I’m not crazy about Vienna. She seems fake, she’s got terrible dark roots and fake tan lines and has yet to say anything at all that indicates intelligence. But Vienna is far from the villain of the house. In fact, no matter how terrible she may be (and I’m certainly not ruling out that she is every bit as terrible as the other girls say), the other girls have no right to treat her the way they do.

Starting with Corey’s comedy act, which the Barbies all laughed at maniacally behind Vienna’s back and culminating in Ali’s bizarrely intense reaction to Jake’s final rose this week, the show’s non-Gia population have proven themselves to be outright cruel.

My early favourites, Ali and Tenley sank to the bottom of my list this week as they spent at least 75% of their screentime complaining, threatening and mouthing off about Vienna. Instead of being pleased that she received a rose herself this week, Ali went on the warpath, cursing and crying that Vienna should not still be there.

Seems to me that Jake needn’t worry about Vienna’s true nature so much as about Ali’s secret sociopathic tendencies. Let it go, man! So what if he likes a girl you don’t, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you. And yes, you are prettier, if that’s what you’re worried about.

So I’ve got my fingers crossed for Gia. Not that I think she’s got a shot in hell at winning but the longer she’s around the less time I’ll have to spend listening to Ali’s cute little mouth spout random bits of hatred.

On The Bachelorette last season there was a fair share of meatheads who did things like obey the “man code” but there was Reid, and Michael, and Kiptyn and Ed, and yes, even Jake to counteract the gross. Last season I couldn’t wait to see which of the lovely guys they picked as the next bachelor. I was even excited to see who they picked from Jason Mesnik’s impressive pile of rejects (in retrospect, Jillian wasn’t half bad). But this crop of girls be crazy and this season, little more than an unpleasant middle school flashback.

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One Response to Terrifying Reign of Blond Tyranny

  1. Pingback: Emily, Her Boyfriend, and those other guys » My TV | My Entertainment World

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