Kevin was king of the diary room on tonight’s episode of Big Brother. While the good guys (Russell, Jeff and Jordan) celebrated as Michelle declared her allegiance to them (and plans to evict Chima), and the crazies (Lydia, Natalie and Chima) mourned Jessie’s departure (hands down the funniest thing I’ve seen on Big Brother since Amy fell over while wearing a giant sponge suit and couldn’t get up) with toasts and tears, Kevin provided a hilarious soundtrack of deadpan sarcasm, revealing that while he may be situationally clumped in with the bad side of the house, he’s by no means a part of the crazy. Other highlights included his debriefing of Lydia’s “Dae Yum Yum” obsession (Dae Yum Yum being her little stuffed unicorn) and his declaration that he was expecting the house to wholly fail the food competition.

PS: because my recording cut out early and I didn’t see the nominations, I just did something I never do- check the feed spoilers. All I have to say is buckle up kids, it’s gonna be an AMAZING week.