10 “beautiful” people, 2 judges whom I’ve never heard of, 1 host/judge who closely resembles a talent-less Summer Glau, a slew of pointless beauty competitions and a ton of inconclusive “true beauty” tests. And the result? Incomparable ugliness.

The contestants themselves, who are supposed to be 10 of the most beautiful people in America, range from somewhat hot (CJ, Laura) to over-the-top (Chelsea, Julia) to actually unattractive (Hadiyyah-lah, Ray, Ashley). They all have excellent bodies but none of them are any more attractive than someone you could find at any mall in the country. One (Billy) even looks annoyingly like a built version of Mike Boogie from Big Brother (who was one of those rare BB contestants who was picked for his personality, at least I hope that’s why they picked him).

Apart from what they actually look like (nothing to write home about), the contestants on True Beauty have established themselves as pretty horrible. Sure CJ keeps passing the stupid “tests” that the producers throw his way that are supposed to prove his inner beauty, but excuse me if I don’t think picking up litter is a definitive sign of someone’s goodness. The man was also the creator of the “let’s pretend we work for a charity so we can steal people’s money and buy clothes” plan.

Meanwhile, the average-looking lot as a whole has been strutting around for 3 episodes with a sense of entitlement, complaining about everything from an unprofessional wardrobe assistant (actually an actor sent to provoke them) to the other contestants. The only one I like at the moment is Chelsea, because no one in the house likes her (for no real reason) and I feel sorry for.

In any case, the stupidity of this show astounds me. My boredom and curiosity, of course, will have me watching until the end, but I’m not proud of it (I really do try to watch only the shows I can at least pretend have merit). At the very least, I can take small comfort in the fact that the worst contestants seem to be being picked off in order (if the judges and I share a hit list, slutty and immature Laura should be the next to go).

Oh, and the wisdom to be gained from True Beauty? All the really beautiful people actually have jobs.